Diary of a Spread Bettor Week 27

Thursday 19th November

I didn’t see Henry’s handball last night – sadly for all Irish fans, neither did the referee! I had to make do with watching it on YouTube in the early hours of the morning after getting back from Kempton and it was a shocker. I was frustrated with myself for not selling total goals in the game at 2.1 as it had seemed the obvious pre-match sell. I hope that FIFA do make the sides replay, not on sporting grounds, but because I’ll be first in the queue to slot goals if they meet again.

Kempton had been a little disappointing as well with only one small winner to report. What’s he grumbling about you may ask? Well, that small winner was surrounded by a host of losers on a really frustrating night. I had gone with a handful of work colleagues and we had discussed buying SPs before the first race as the card looked tricky. We didn’t and 16/1, 25/1 and 33/1 shots all made their way back to Kempton’s deserted Winner’s Enclosure. I have no idea why the track fails to attract decent gates to its All-Weather meetings as the racing is often good, the food in the restaurant excellent and overall the facilities are as good as you will find anywhere. I’ll definitely go back and next time I’ll be long of SP’s – maybe I’ll go the night France and Ireland replay!

Friday 20th November

Ascot staged a pretty decent looking jumps card and I was lucky enough to be there as a guest of City AM. The weather cleared up after a poor start and it turned out to be the perfect day for watching national hunt racing – not for punting sadly! However, we were fed and looked after really well though (and I don’t have shares in Kempton or Ascot!).

I fancied Volador to turn over Paul Nicholls’s Red Harbour in the first and bought £10 at 18 on the index. The five-year old was having his first run over hurdles and looked decent value against the drifting favourite. Well, he did manage to beat the jolly but could only manage third beaten less than the length of one of the pieces of lemon from my smoked salmon starter – the jockey nearly got the other piece hurled at him from the stands. I kicked myself for not doing the match bet.

Awesome George got me back ahead in the next having looked in serious trouble turning for home, but The Rainbow Hunter failed to land a blow in the third which put me behind again at the halfway stage. Then came the first of two really strong fancies... Go Silver Bullet in the 2.40pm. The steak and mushroom pie had been cleared away and it was time to get stuck into a horse better named to run in the Breeders’ Cup Sprint than 2 ½ mile handicap chase round Ascot.

The stunning grey jumped like a stag the whole way round and my £20 buy at 18 on the index looked in great shape as they passed the stands with a circuit to go. He was jumping soundly in third and was travelling at a sensible pace. The problem was that the sensible pace in question turned out to be his fifth gear and he was never able to reel in Psychomodo or Soulard. Another £160 in the bin and it was turning out to be one of those days. The 11/1 winner was the second in quick succession for Sporting Index Marketing Manager David Turcan, also a guest on the table, after he had backed Inventor at 14/1 in the previous race. He showed no emotion as the winner crossed the line – either he was too drunk to realise he had won or backs so many winners it doesn’t bother him anymore (I reckon the latter).

My next big fancy was Bowleaze in the big race of the day and I bought him on the index and in his match bet with Fairoak Lad. He ran an almost identical race to Go Silver Bullet but faded after the last and finished sixth... he had looked certain to be placed approaching the third last. I think, just like me, he’s a pound or two to high at the weights at present. Annoyingly, Fairoak Lad finished third meaning a wipe out across the boards... I didn’t feel like having any cheese.

Left the last alone – should have followed David Turcan who backed the winner again! In fact, if I’d followed him home I could have bumped him on the head and nicked all his winnings – I probably still would have been down though!

Drove home and managed to get a puncture leaving the motorway – another £85 down the drain to cap a truly memorable day. ‘Did you win?’ asked my wife as I walked in the door...

Saturday 21st November

A new day, a new dawn and a trip to Twickenham to watch England lose to the All Blacks. The trains were a nightmare but managed to get to the Duke of Cambridge in time to meet our party for a pre-match drink and burger. The grey clouds gathered over head as we made our way to the ground and I sold £20 of points at 36. As we took our seats, the heavens opened and I felt confident that I was about to place my first winning bet in a long time. That confidence grew as the sides trudged off the field half-time with only 12 points on the scoreboard.

New Zealand added another 13 unanswered points in the second period, but England declared at six meaning a final total of just 25 and a £220 profit. Sadly, Notre Pere took back £100 of that as my ante-post bet on him to beat Kauto Star ended up in the same place as the onions from my hot dog... on the floor!

We had a horrendous walk from the ground in torrential rain back to Twickenham town where we ended up watching the first half of the Scotland v Australia match in the world’s most crowded pub. I tried to ring up and sell points from the staircase outside the loos (the main pub was too noisy), but kept being asked to move by some freaky bearded American bouncer. I ended up selling £15 at 35 from the loo itself. The floor was soaking wet and I hope it was just rain from people’s shoes rather than...

Anyway, the first half went really well as the rain fell on Murrayfield. I made my way home during the second half and the score remained at 6-3 to Scotland throughout my train journey. I was pressing refresh on the sportinglife site every 30 seconds and probably spent what I won on the match in internet charges. The game finished 9-8 and I won £270... at last a winning day!

Sunday 22nd November

Nothing much to report on the punting front at all... except for a tiny wager on Danyl to be in the bottom two in the X Factor. He wasn’t and I was back on the losing trail, albeit only £65.

I had to pick up a Czech Au Pair from Reading Station for an interview and she was a monster – her perfume was making my eyes water in the car. I think I’m going to try and line her up with that bouncer from the pub in Twickenham.

Monday 23rd November

Spent most of the day travelling to Ireland for work and spent the night in the Crowne Plaza Dundalk... which is exactly like you would imagine it to be. I became Alan Partridge for the night and Ben, my work colleague, and I sat and watched the second half of the Newcastle game on Sky. He was desperate to back Newcastle but we both agreed it would probably finish goalless. Up popped Kevin Nolan and Newcastle were suddenly heading for all three points.

Went up stairs and watched Life (ironic as that’s exactly what I didn’t have at the time!) on BBC 2 at 11pm. It was all about the Hunter and the Hunted... it was brilliant. I’m just glad I wasn’t born an ostrich as I wouldn’t back myself to outrun a parking warden let alone a jaguar.

Tuesday 24th November

Terrible flight home in the wind and rain sitting next to a massive African bloke called John who loves his gambling. He struck up conversation as soon as he saw my Racing Post and only stopped as we reached baggage reclaim. He professed to being the worst gambler in the world and said that the last Derby winner he backed was Dancing Brave. I didn’t want to tell him it got beat just in case he didn’t know – boy, he’s going to be disappointed when he goes to try and collect!

Anyway, he told me that 5/1 Liverpool to qualify for the next stage of the Champions League was the best bet he has ever seen (even better that Dancing Brave to win the Derby). I tried to explain the intricacies of spread betting to him but he wasn’t having any of it. ‘Spread like butter’ he kept saying... after a couple of ‘not quite’s, I gave up. His favourite jockey is Kieren Fallon and he hates Graham Lee (he’s an ‘A hole’ apparently). My new friend John said that he went to Ascot last Saturday and backed a badly ridden Graham Lee horse that got beaten. ‘I went all the way down to the paddock and shouted at him as he went to weigh-in’, he told me. The worrying thing is that Graham Lee was actually riding at Haydock that day... I was going to tell him that, but did not want to embarrass him – I could have said that he was up there to ride Dancing Brave.

Anyway, got home in time to see Liverpool crash out of the Champions League... poor old John.

Wednesday 25th November

Another night of Champions League action and with no view in the United game, decided to sell £100 of goals in the Porto v Chelsea game. Not a strong view, but an interest anyway. Perhaps I should ring John and find out if he fancies anything...