How to Discipline Your Child

One question every parent has had to answer and contemplate is 'how do I discipline my child?' It is very likely a parent has experienced one or more of the following dilemmas:

- Ineffective strategy: Your technique is not yielding the results you want. You are either getting no results or the opposite results.
- Confused: You've read and heard many disciplining tips. Some of the ideas may even contradict each other. Who is right? Who is wrong? Is it really going to work?
- Doubt: You are doing all you can but you're not sure if what you're doing is the right thing?
- Dead end: You've tried everything you know but nothing works. Now you just feel helpless and lost.

It is during these times parents wish they had an all-knowing fairy god mother who could give them the right solution and answer. Unfortunately there is no fairy god mother. However, here are 8 basic discipline guidelines that can help:

1. What is your interpretation of discipline? Does it mean to teach or to punish? It is important that you get this right first because it will dictate how and what you do. Subsequently it will effect what kind of outcome you will get.

2. Praise and rewards work better than reprimands. Hey, nobody likes to constantly hear the things that they do wrong. Not even you right? Unfortunately it is human nature to harp on the negatives. It takes effort to notice the positives. But it is important that in disciplining children, we build them up rather than tear them down.

3. Be cautious when using threats. When your blood is boiling, you tend to say things you don't mean. Don't say things you don't intend to carry out. Empty threats only end up being meaningless to the child, plus it will likely have no impact.

4. Positive talk is a better motivator. Instead of telling them what will happen if they don't behave, tell them what will happen when they behave. It's like choosing between hanging a carrot in front of the donkey or pushing the donkey from the behind. Which do you think will work better?

5. Smacking may be what you feel like doing most of the time but it is not the best way. The child either ends up being shy, unresponsive, depressed and anxious or they end up being aggressive themselves. Plus, you will find that eventually, you will need to smack harder and smack more to achieve the results you want.

6. It is beneficial to allocate some "calm down" time, not only for your child but also for you. If you decide to use time outs, make sure the place is not stimulating. No toys and no distractions. Plus, it must also be safe for the child.

7. Be ready to repeat yourself, especially if the child is still very young. Repeat, repeat, repeat. That is how they learn best. Why do you think they can watch the same Barney show for the 50th time and not be bored?

8. Accept the fact that there will be times you will lose your temper, no matter how hard you try not to. More important that you not lose the opportunity to explain to your child when things are calmer and apologize if needed. Don't forget to show more love after.

Discipline is a daily struggle for parents with growing children. Use these 8 basics to guide your actions. It's not anything new and you may have heard them before. But in the heat of the moment, we tend to forget them. Lastly, when drawing up your disciplinary plans, don't forget to add the following: be willing to change, be creative, be patient and persevere.

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