Funerals Tips For Any Clergy-Person

What would you do if some friend or someone close to you died and you are requested to do the ceremony? Would you turn down that honor, simply because you are fearful about having never been the minister for a funeral before and don't know what to say? As a reverend, you should be knowledgable in all manner of services.

Quite a few years ago, I recognized this so I started developing funeral and memorial services. I contacted mortuaries, where I was made aware, among other things, that the mortuaries have a clear need for clergy to perform non-denominational services. I decided to conduct funeral services and include that with my wedding ministry, so I began writing a funeral service for the occasion.

The most difficult parts for me had been combating the possible fear of the way I would feel about being near a corpse and thinking about what it was I was planning to say at the service. Prior to my initial funeral service, I'd not ever as much as been in attendance at a funeral, let alone seen a dead body. First, let me say that a corpse looks a lot like a wax dummy. Not scary at all. It quickly becomes obvious the spirit will have left and whatever remains is merely an empty shell.

With regards to the ceremony itself, I not long after discovered that there seems to be very little material about funeral ceremonies and virtually nothing at all available for pastors who need to officiate them. What pastors need are the right words to say, like they have for weddings. I did eventually find a single ceremony from a mainstream religion as well as one written by someone from a different non-denominational religion. Neither was quite the truth I wanted to put across, but the ceremony gave me a place to begin. I then put together some books which have included numerous pages of options for the various separate parts of the ceremony. Those books are ?Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage? and its sequel, ?More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage.? Both can be bought from the Universal Life Church Seminary store.

I begin my services with an opening statement and a welcome/thank you from the family. Then, I start to talk about the reason we're there ? to celebrate the life of a friend they have loved. I invite people to say hello in spirit to the deceased, while I lead the guests in prayer. I share a bit about life and death as well as whatever we?d learned from the deceased in his or time time with us. Then, I begin the eulogy. (I developed a basic opening to start the eulogy, then I begin filling it in with the details and stories I gather from the bereaved before the ceremony.)

I usually put in some biographical content during the beginning of the eulogy, which reminds everyone that the deceased had been both a member of the family or group yet was still, an individual. I usually then talk regarding the value of reminiscing fondly about the deceased|stand up and share stories and invite people to stand up and share. It's not unusual for nobody to speak during the service, but there will be times that individuals will come up if it's an option.

At this part of the ceremony, there exists more flexibility. I love singing or leading people in 'Amazing Grace' during funerals. Not everyone is comfortable initiating that, but there still is often space for a musical introduction. Just be sure that the funeral director is aware if a tape or CD is to be played. The directors generally already do. A candle-lighting ceremony, some scripture, or reading of some selected poems might be put next. The ceremony frequently ends with a prayer and a benediction.

If the body is going to be interred (buried), then I often follow the family to the burial site (unless the whole ceremony took place there), and say some words of bible passages, the Lord's Prayer, and words for the interment - (giving the body back to the ground, etcetera.) I don't always conduct the ceremony in that order; I try to just let the ceremony to flow as feels right. It is smart to be ready for anything.

I've learned over time that funeral services are a tremendous place to teach, find out about myself and other people better, and to heal their grief. The single most essential matters to keep in mind when you're doing the ceremony is that it's imperative for you, as the officiant, keep a lid on your personal emotions. There is going to be a good deal of individuals around you sitting in sadness and grief. It is not your job to match their emotions. It's your job to distance yourself somewhat and be compassionate, while still being strong, to give permission for the bereaved to lean on you and For the duration of your time there, you, the clergy-person, are the messenger of hope and peace to the grieving, so it?s crucial that you give them the complete freedom to open up and express their feelings.

ULC officiants are less likely to preside over memorial services held in churches because the local pastor would be involved and would certainly hold the ceremony.

REMEMBER that there is no one special way to officiate a memorial service. Not all services are religious in nature and the clergy-person should be ready to offer a civil ceremony without references to The Universe or any particular belief system. The family can tell you what their beliefs are as well as those of the deceased so those must be honored.

It's essential during this time, to set everyone's minds at rest. They may possibly be experiencing grief, uncertainty regarding the fate of their loved one after death, anger, dread, and so forth. It's your responsibility to acknowledge those emotions and do your best to ease their minds.

If you're needing a basic script of things to say at a funeral, the Universal Life Church Seminary has made two books available which have everything you need and/or you may also have the file of ceremonies emailed to you if the service is scheduled to occur with little notice|scheduled in a brief time. It is a good idea to be prepared though and every officiant should possess a copy of ?Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage?, along with the sequel, ?More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage?.