The Basics For Understanding How To Learning About The Process of Letting Go of Anger

This is a portion of a discourse from the Spirit Quest Course presented by the Universal Life Church Seminary.

This is a favorite of one of 30 diverse lessons you'll be sent every single week in your email, if you buy this training course.

This discourse is about learning to forgive. This is a concept that we have all been told a whole lot about throughout our lives. It?s specifically stressed in many religions, but can we seriously know exactly what it really is and the best way to do it?

Forgiveness is, simply put, about letting go. Letting go of the injustices done TO you, or BY you. This can be a very simple principle, but frequently really challenging to achieve. Whether to Forgive or not is your choice.

To withhold forgiveness means you are choosing to continue to be in pain. Bear in mind that, you continually have the choice.

Forgiveness is done for you, NOT for the one you're angry with. The person you refuse to forgive . . . OWNS you! You've all of your own power tied up in your own anger and resentment, when you should be working with it for producing amazing mock-ups for yourself. Instead, you are allowing the other person to keep you hostage.

What about if your husband or wife is unfaithful? You can still choose to to forgive. You can also still decide to leave. Just because you decide to forgive, doesn't suggest you have got to remain in the marriage. That is certainly only and at all times your option to make. The choice to forgive is also only and always yours.

?To err is human. To forgive, Divine.?

Why is it Divine?

It is divine simply because when you forgive, you move 1 step nearer to The Divine.

Let us take a look at what the word is all about.

Forgive: for (in favor of) give (to relinquish, make a present of, donate.)

So forgiving, means that that you are ?in favor of relinquishing?.

It's time to speak about what comes about when someone does you wrong. At first, you feel angry, betrayed, insulted, hurt, etc.

Following that, you want to cease feeling that way, so you search for the individual who caused you this pain. You want to yell at them, insult them back, causing for them precisely the same kind of discomfort they caused in you.

In other words, Revenge.

This is a typical reaction after you?ve been harmed. Once you have moved past the initial reaction, it is a possibility that you perhaps will just let it go, but if it's a big enough hurt -- you MIGHT (And I emphasize, MIGHT) contemplate the idea of forgiving that individual.

If you DID decide to think about forgiving, it may possibly start off with you listening to a dialogue inside your mind with questions like, ?Why should I forgive him/her?? ?How will I be able to even think about forgiving him/her/myself for what he/she did??

When you keep a grudge and don?t forgive, the hurt stays right there -- like a burning coal -- infecting every single element within your life.

Maintaining a grudge is akin to drinking poison and waiting for that other person to die.

If you come to feel harm by something, do not forgive them for "their" sake. This is a big waste of your time and energy. You have to do it only for yourself. It will likely be that the other person will never ask for forgiveness, nor will that person apologize. If so, then that is their choice. They don't HAVE TO ask to be forgiven; it's YOU who must decide to forgive.

An example of this: ?When I was sick with cancer, I had an unjustified anger against my mother. I didn?t want her in my presence, within the same home or living on the same planet. To work through this problem, I sought the aid of a hypnotist who performed previous life regressions. She took me, a single stage at a time, to some lifetime that had both my mom and me in it. In that lifetime, my mom (having a male body) inadvertently caused the death of the father I had in that lifetime. I felt sure (she) did it with intent and judged her harshly. I rallied all the people I knew to drive her out of town. As it turned out, his death was not carried out on with intent, and it was my then-father?s time to die. I instantly let it go. When I saw my mom later, I was no longer angry. I let go of the grudge, forgave her and forgave myself for how I acted on my judgments. We have been extremely close since then.?

I will be teaching you some exercises to help you with releasing pain. First though, there are some things you need to find out about how it happened in the first place.

By ?it?, I mean the pain.

With regards to discomfort, I've some good news and I've got some bad news. As it happens, it all depends on your viewpoint. The news is: You are accountable for the own pain.

That is both a great thing and lousy news. It can be considered bad news simply because you must acknowledge that you're responsible for the discomfort on some level, and the discomfort ONLY gets in when there is a place inside of you that allowed it in.

It?s a great thing because if you allowed the hurt to get IN, then the pain is a part of you ? IT'S YOURS - and? you can only get rid of things that are a part of you.

It is not possible for to make other people change ? you can only change yourself. So if it?s part of you ? MAKE IT YOURS!

The hurt gets in because there exists, what we'll call a ?button? that gets pushed. It?s like being on an elevator. The elevator has a zillion floors with buttons for all of them. Once the button is pushed, it lets you right onto that floor. Basically, the same is true with pain; when someone recognizes, on some level, that there is a button to push, it?s effortless to find it, light it up, and just invite themselves in.

This is what I mean about you being party to the discomfort. The pain wouldn?t get in if there were no button to push. The insult, the damage, etc would blow by like a warm breeze on a spring day, if it had nothing to stick to.

This can be also correct when you have done a thing you are unable to be forgiven for. You have another button inside of you that tells you that you are bad or that you aren't deserving enough and that you just deserve all the unhealthy life experiences that come your way.

Buttons like these are what allows you to not like yourself.

It truly is doable for ANYTHING to get forgiven!

Bear in mind, that God adores you. You were designed in perfection, by perfection, for perfection. Your success is assured.

Now that we know how the pain got in, let's talk about tips on how to give it the old heave-ho. If you do this, you will need to keep in mind that as soon as you have forgiven someone for something, you eternally give up any right for revenge.

This means you have released holding onto it. You aren't allowed to broach the subject later on, throw it in any person?s face, or use it for a bargaining chip in any future conversations. Forgiveness allows you to moveforward. No one gains from forgiveness greater than the one who does the forgiving!

After you think of forgiving, there are a handful of points to remember that may help. The very first thing is the one we previously mentioned:

The discomfort is ONLY there because you let it in.

The 2nd thing to remember is:

Individuals are typically not IN OPPOSITION TO you, but merely IN FAVOR OF themselves. i.e. it?s usually NOT about you.

The 3rd is almost certainly the most significant with regards to intellectually letting go of things:

Individuals react, behave, do things, as a consequence oftheir own personal discomfort.

This last one is usually actually helpful to bear in mind when some thing occurs to you or whenever you do anything to cause someone else's pain. Everyone has pain. Most individuals aren?t aware of it and people which might be usually don?t know what to dowith it.

It?s not personal.

Even when it feels fully personal, they tell you it?s about you and it?s only happening to you, it?s still possibly not.

What I imply by this is always that if that other individual didn?t have their own buttons to get lit up, the pain wouldn?t have been set to get in.

It can be true that you inadvertently pushed their buttons, but you did so out of own discomfort. Your job then becomes to letting go of your own pain so that you don?t become the victim of it therefore you won?t pass it on.

AND if they release their stuff, there?s nothing that will stick.

You do nevertheless have accountability for your actions, as others do for theirs. You also need to offer a sincere apology after you?ve injured somebody, but that?s not what we?re referring to here.

For more about forgiveness, look for part 2.