I wish I could give you a magic recipe for surviving your affair.
However, honesty compels me to admit that there is virtually no magic in the case of affair survival.
Without Question, it is within the realm of possibility. But in our era of "instant everything", we're conditioned by every aspect of our everyday existence to want no work, pre-packaged solutions for each difficulty.
But resolving involved emotional problems is not a microwave meal. Accordingly, going this route will produce no "instant gratification.
Nevertheless, long term contentment, for both parties in the relationship can be acheived. In this article I'm going to break down how you can progress to survive your affair. And take your relationship to the next stage.
In the first instance, it's important to understand that the results of the infidelity can be just as difficult for the unfaithful partner as for the cheated.
They will rest with the guilt and remorse of the unfaithfulness the rest of their existence.
Because of that fact, it's crucial that the other partner gives the cheater some compassion and understanding. This is crucial if the mutual intention is to restore the love bond.
Secondly, the partner cheated on needs to leave the machochistic ease of "victim conciousness." Yes, you were deceived. Yes, your trust was taken advantage of. Yes, you were lied to.
The important word in this instance is "were." As in "in the past."
Replaying your misery isn't going to make the past disappear, or the future sunny and carefree.It's "emotional quicksand," The more you struggle, the deeper you sink.Consequently, at the end of the day you're completely stuck. Don't go there.
If what I've said so far makes sense, the third factor is the big question :"Is continuing the relationship important to both of you?"If the answer is "a positive one", in addition to compassion, honesty should be be added to the mix.
But even this will not be enough to establish success without communication.
Yes, naturally you understand the importance of communication in
surviving your affair.But what most partners suffering through an affair are unable to get a handle on are two immoveable realities:
One, you must be on the same page with your definitions to avoid misunderstanding.If you each have different definitions of love,honesty, committment, your progress will be zero.
Following on, non-verbal communication in a great many cases sends more potent messages.Remembering that, you must be as concious as possible of the usually unconcious gestures and facial expressions you use.
You need to ensure to the best of your ability, that these ""emotional telegraphs" are the ones you want to send.The variety that add complimentary positivity to your verbal communication.
Finally, I need to make sure you realize the unequivocal-no exceptions necessity that the unfaithful partner terminate all contact with the affair partner.And "all" means ALL!
If the unfaithful partner is unquestionably sincere in their desire to
repair your love connection and take it to a new and improved level,this won't be a stumbling block.
In the unhappy event that your experience doesn't follow this scenario, you're clearly wasting your time and your life with this person.
Of course I'm hoping, this won't be your end result. Naturally I'm hoping,what I've shared with you will enable you move forward with confidence on the journey to
surviving your affair.
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| About the author |
Linwood Gilbert is an affair survivor who got through his challenging times with this FREE Expert Guidance. |
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