What Can I do About Wedding Speech Nerves?

Are you looking forward to the wedding, but thinking that if it wasn't for the speech I could really enjoy the day.  If you are then you are not alone.  Even for the most seasoned speakers, nerves are still present.  The difference is that they know how to deal with them. 

Length of speech has no bearing on nerves

The length of your speech has no bearing on your nerves. Actually that is not quite true, but the fear of nerves usually leads to speakers to delivering very short speeches and leaving their wedding guests feeling cheated.  The reality is whether you deliver a 30 second speech or a 10 minute speech your nerves beforehand will be the same.  Indeed it is more than likely that you will feel more nervous about a 30 second speech than you will about a 10 minute speech. 

Here are 3 reasons why a short speech will make you feel more nervous

1.    You will know that you have cheated your audience of a good speech and you will be wondering what they are thinking of you.  

2.    The most nerve racking part of delivering a speech is usually the first 30 seconds to one minute.  What tends to happen is that as you progress through your speech you actually tend relax much more. 

3.    A longer speech will require more preparation and the more prepared you are the more confident you will feel.

The reason most of us feel nervous about speaking in public is really due to a lack of confidence.  Like so many things in life when we are prepared, then we feel more confident.  So preparation is key to boosting your confidence. 

Is there anything else you can do?

There are lots of things you can do, but one of my favourite techniques is really quite simple but it works amazingly well. Whenever you get that knotted stomach felling coming over you simply say this to yourself:
“I will be nervous but not just now.”   Do this every time you feel nervous and the feeling of nervousness will leave you.  You can do this right up to the moment you deliver your wedding speech.

Why does this work?

So why does this simple technique work so well?   I believe it is because you're recognizing the fact that you feel nervous, but you are immediately taking your mind off feeling nervous.  If you don’t do this, then your mind simply plays this destructive behaviour over and over again making you feel more nervous.  So when you acknowledge to your mind that you feel nervous but, postpone the event to later  in time, we satisfy our minds need to feel nervous but allow it to focus on something different from that moment on.  The very act then stops you feeling nervous.  So go ahead use this the next time you fell nervous about your speech or anything else. 

Preparation is key

I do however reiterate that preparation is key to a successful speech and in reducing your nerves.  So make sure you allow yourself plenty of time to prepare your speech and don’t do as one website wedding planning website recently advised and leave it to just two weeks before.

Good luck in your speech preparation and conquering those nerves.

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About the author

Jim J Davidson who is regarded as one of the UK's foremost public speaking experts. If you would like a copy of his FREE eBook "Why most wedding speeches fail!" you can obtain this by going to the http://www.your-wedding-speech.com

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