How to Communicate with My Child If I Suspect that He Is a Gay

Like discussing sex and its education with children, parents also need to talk to their gay son about their sexual orientation. To talk does not mean to discourage him from his gay orientation, but also allow him to come out of the shell. Communication is the key to bringing the gay son out of his closet and giving him a chance to ‘come out’ with his nagging problem. At school or with friends your gay son must have faced some verbal or physical abuse for not being as boyish as the other kids. He could not explain his problem or come out with his viewpoint in front of anybody.

As a parent, it is your responsibility to get him on board before it is too late. Usually parents with a gay son realize much later that they had failed in not communicating with him earlier.  You have to choose a proper setting or an opportune moment to get to talk with him over what he thinks he cannot explain. Before getting to communicate with him, you also need to educate yourself a bit about the real problems faced by gays. If you do, you will realize that every parent as well as their gay son has a story to tell. It is a story of abuse, neglect and misunderstanding at every step for the gay child. Those who were lucky enough had parents who communicated with them early. It saved them a lot of miseries and depression after they grew up.

If you choose the living room or the dining table, chances are that your gay son may not be so forthcoming when you break the ice. You have to choose a particular setting were he cannot sort of evade and leave the discussion mid way. A long drive with your gay son can be a good setting to communicate with him. And it would be wise not to rush into it or lose your patience, because a great level of understanding is all that he would need.

You could begin with something like asking about his future plans and how he sees himself in the next couple of years or more. And what are his plans when he steps into adulthood. As communicating effectively with a gay son is the key to good parenting, you should have all the patience in the world to hear him out. He may say things that you may not agree with as there are many things about the gay world that you might not know.