Talking to teens and family communication is very important while raising your family. What's interesting is that your teen wants to communicate with you as much as you want to communicate with them. Make as much time as possible to do this so you know what is happening in your teens life.
Talking to teens and family
communication is very important while raising your family. What's interesting
is that your teen wants to communicate with you as much as you want to communicate
with them. Make as much time as possible to do this so you know what is
happening in your teens life.
You want to be able to trust your
teenagers while they're not with you. You also want your teen to talk with you
about things they're going through and for them to come to you when they have
questions. Trusting your teen could open the lines of communication with them.
What exactly is trust and how can it
be a door for family communication? As parents we are working toward teaching
our child to no longer need us. In an effort to help them grow and mature, we
expect that we will be able to count on them to be honest with us, that they
will do what they say they will, and that they will treat us with respect. The
interesting thing is that these are the same things teens want to know about
us.
We have to be able to trust our
child, their judgment, and their decision-making process before we feel we can
truly let them go and believe they will be successful. Unfortunately, being
lied to, let down, or allowing fear of the unknown to take hold makes us wonder
if our trust was misplaced.
Have we proven ourselves trustworthy
as our children have grown up? How many times did we tell them we'd be at a
play or basketball game only to be detained, without fault of our own? That
erodes their trust in us just as sneaking out of the house to go to a party
erodes our faith in them.
Realize that both parents and teens
will make mistakes when it comes to being completely trustworthy. That doesn't
mean you give up on the relationship and never trust again. You start out and
slowly rebuild the trusting relationship you both want and need.
Even if trust has been broken you
need to keep the lines of family communication open. Don't yell and belittle
one another to try to make them see your point. Sit down and calmly talk about
what happened, how things could have been handled differently, and what must
occur to rebuild that trust.
Just as you expect your teen to be
honest with you about what they're doing, where they've been, and who they've
been with, they need you to be honest with them as well. Don't make promises
you may not be able to keep. Talking to teens and listening to what they have
to say more than you telling them what you think you know will help you with
family communication.
Your teen needs to know that you
trust them to make good decisions. Give them more responsibilities or freedom,
a little at a time, to help them learn some of what will be expected of them as
an adult. Let them know that you're honestly not trying to make their life
difficult, you're trying to teach them the value of being trustworthy which will
be of the utmost importance for their future.
While trusting your teen can open
the lines of family communication, so can love. Be sure to show your child that
no matter how they slip up or what they do that you'll always love them. Let
them know that they can come to you regardless of the situation. They need to
know that you'll listen to them, and not judge. You are their parent and you
love them.
Talking to teens may be difficult at
times but remember that you were a teenager once. Try and remember the things
that you went through when you were a teenager and how difficult the transition
was from childhood to adulthood. Keep these memories in mind while talking to
your teen. Family communication of any kind is worth the effort!
| About the author |
Alicia Bowyer is a Certified Family Manager Coach and is passionate about providing tips for moms to succeed at the most important job they will ever have. Alicia equips moms with the help and advice they need using the Family Manager concept of adopting the skills and strategies successful business managers use to create a smoothly running home. |
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